BLOG18- THE END

The End

There is something inside my chest beating

There is fire inside my soul and it’s bleeding

This is how I grieve and express my feelings

Feeling the blues since and I am still screaming 

Been on the edge feeling cold and freezing 

Been loved but they deserted me and said I'm needy

I am trying to love but I am heaving with the crowd 

The voices in my head are loud telling me to change my route 

I am just writing my thoughts on this paper 

I'm still coping with my loss until the day later 

I'm still crying, drinking shots waiting for the reaper

I can see my anger vaporizing my awful behaviour 

Trying to find the option but I am stuck in this mess 

My love they left and I am still awfully depressed

Then they ask me why do you detest like the rest 

Just be happy that you are here living to exist

I'm still lost and stuck in the mist  

I am still drifting but I would like to be kissed 

I am still shifting and I am a misfit 

Still suffering with no one to lift it 

They keep calling me a failure saying I need a saviour

I am still sobbing traveling like a sailor     

In time I am dying and getting struck by lightening

The path is narrow but I am still crying 

I lack motivation and no imagination living in the dark  

I am in desperation and everything is black in my art 

I worry about my life condition never knew if it’s an addiction 

I lack compassion and it evolved telling me I need a prescription 

My tolerance is bad affecting my situation just dashing  

No obsession just overthinking every action and laughing      

Lost my passion with life and I only bottle my direction 

Sadly no one can relate and my head is still itching  

I am alone feeling like trash after you left 

And I wear my pain on my hopeless vest

I drink till I'm drunk and it’s like a test  

I won’t lie it hurts like a knife penetrating my chest

You broke my soul and you left like them 

I paint a picture with the blade in another realm 

I thought we were going to build a nest that was our quest 

But you told me words of hate and it’s hard to digest 

I live in disgust cause you walked away 

I thought I was the problem like you kept on saying everyday   

Now I am alone sleeping on my bed and it’s all grey 

With ugly thoughts stuck in my head and all of them stay  

Trying to kill myself with a gun to my brain 

Lately I have been living like I am deranged

Sleeping and waking up checking my instagram feed

Waiting on a notification from you to read 

It was a dying nest and I was barely alive

My meds have finished and I can’t even survive

My mind I'm loosing it and I am awake till the daylight

It is a scary place outside and it attacks me from the hive

I want to say goodbye every time I'm inside 

I want to say this is the end but I can’t hide

My noggin doesn't realize but it commits suicide

Who will revive me after I have been confined? 

I have been chasing darkness escaping calmness 

I have been speaking with the devil feeling lifeless

©