Once upon a time...
I drink a littlie bit to ease my stress
Then I felt noting compare to this emptiness
Taking pills feeling the heat on my chest
Diffused my pressure for my urge to rest
I finish my life looking back puzzled and confused
Like am I the only one who got nothing to loose
Hearing voices when I go hit the snooze
Then wake up and go look for substances to abuse
Looking back at my life and where I am standing
Where is all that am I really just stranded?
I was a nice kid didn’t like how I was in distress
Always had a place but I was just feeling less
Turned to bottles felling hallow
Turned to pills that was hard to swallow
Then started to feel a bit more shallow
Walking like a puddle with an empty path to follow
I didn’t follow the rules like I’m a teen I can sleep till noon
Started drinking the booze so I can go to school
Now I am calling up a friend telling them, should I do this again?
Saying yes bro everything will make perfect sense
He is like don’t worry I know we got the rent
If we get caught, we will just sit down and pretend
I’m like ok cool lets go hit some dudes and a couple of friends
Before we go to our main event
But this shit doesn't feel all right
I hope in the end we’ll be able to see the tunnel with the light
Everything tented in the van and the lights are super dim
To prevent a couple of stars from shining in
Falling to the edge drinking till our dimes are sinking
Hitting the fence so we can stop thinking
Taking the pills just to get our minds ringing
Falling to the floor and we cant even stop blinking
Homies telling me you have to do more
This is not enough and you did this before
Do it till your throat is sore
I said my brain is about to be all over the floor
My mama called me, I told her I needed some help
My mind is dense and I am drinking with the pain I’ve felt
Next day my mama found out I have been drinking with a couple of friends
All I wanted to do is abuse substances that wont end
But never had the money only a couple of cents
Took me to the doctor, and he gave me a couple of meds
Went out and did this shit all over again
I went out hitting the door my mama ringing my cell
Picking up myself from the bathroom and I fell
Yelling telling me I need to come back
I was like nah I am chilling
I got myself and I got use to that
Every time I am in the house it feels like I am in a cell
Siting in my room writing about how I felt
My mama looked at me and said, this needs to stop
I said look at me myself is engulfed
I use to love you but now the reaper is upon me
And these voices stared talking like they are from me
I am awfully sad, now I think I need a drink
Thinking about my life before I hit the stinking bin
I went to my room loving my new thrill
These meds are really good
They are like my new pills
Feeling the bliss overdosed on that new deal
Loving myself smoking cigarettes to ease my senses
No on can relate to me or my restlessness
And at this point I am just looking for someone to help
Drinking and sinking till I am in a new realm
My heart is ripped out and it is just too real
Everything feels like I am just too ill
And my family might figure that or maybe not
But this doesn't has to be, cause I am going to rut
My head will explode and then they will cry with new tears
I told myself ah this is my new deal
I feel blissful and everything is just too real
She told me we gave you everything and some few meals
Why are you doing this?
I said leave me alone it’s none of your business
I walked up to my room with a friend in mind
And my mama was yelling telling me you need to go outside
I pulled up a gun took it over to the sun
Raised my hand to my head
Pulled the trigger
And I was done
Oh mama I am sorry if I sent myself to doom
I am sorry cause I didn’t know what to do
These couple of pills made me act like a fool
My friend’s taught me about this new rule
And told me it will relive my pain
Just tell my story before I went insane
But now I am gone like the colourful rain
But something just hit me like a moving train
Maybe I should’ve stayed in my bed that day
But I wish I didn’t put a bullet in the back of my head on that day
©
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