BLOG13- Alone...

Alone...

You make me seem worthless just thinking I am blind 

Just sitting here uncertain with nothing but traps in my mind 

Just me sitting with no purpose and the air I gasp that feels tight  

And I just look calm on the surface with hell in my sight 

With fire burning underneath sitting restless and defenseless 

And you ripped out my soul with ease you senseless pretentious   

My heart you have test it and your teeth you sunk them

You knew I was breathless and love for me was infectious  

But you have left me expressive and pensive 

And you left my soul faithless with pain so intensive 

Living the same day but the day shifts to a different state  

Dreaming of flying but it's a myth so I try to create 

You said forever but life is a bitch but I believed in faith  

My heart is forever stuck in a ditch and I am lost not safe 

And my heartbeat is still rising like a hell staircase 

A future with you that was on the horizon but I got stuck in a prison safe  

With feelings emerging that I didn't like it that kept me in a shell 

And my eyes just told me about it and on the floor I fell 

I am drowning in tears and struck by lightning from living in hell 

It's my own demons that I keep on fighting and every night I yell 

It just felt so righteous to speak 

Until I'm dead and my soul is very weak 

But in front of God I'm going to confess and repeat 

And tell him about my emotional stress and how was I received  

And the other thousand miss that stood on my peak  

And the people I couldn't digest, only as a figure of speech 

And the love that made me bleeds filling a beach 

And the horrible people that made me feel the heat 

And about you you blond witch 

So when you’re dead you will know you will go to hell 

And your demons will be waiting for you in a prison cell 

And God can show you what I have felt 

And I hope in life karma can tear you like show and tell 

Writing is the only way I can feel free from your dirty spell  

I can speak my mind, you can believe, and everything can fell 

I find my place among the fairy tales and build my own rails  

I can be the king and everything fells 

And where the ships can forever seal 

And where my love could be shared

And everything seems to be fair 

I could be loved and be there and aware

My love is already rare on this Earth like its quality air  

But my life has been cursed so you could stare 

I can look at the stars but my vision is blur  

But I keep on writing till I am in a hearse 

My depression keeps on making everything worse

Till the day I die I will still be cursed

I guess I just overdosed on the love drug, and every thing hurts  

Let me tell you why am I alone crying siting on the bench

And show you what I do trying to find a solution dying in a trench  

But the pain and the agony is very intense 

I want to quit everything and jump from the cliff  

All I see around is snow and souls that wants to go 

All I see around is holes and people who put on a show

All I want is love but they just tell me to go home 

I want you and I together to last forever but you left me alone 

They told me your emotions should go to shame 

Everything you have in your heart just throw it in flames

I’m hurt and there is no one to blame

I try to cop with myself but it is the same damn train  

Trying to motivate myself but my mind is driving me insane 

I want to hear and smell the Colours of the rain

At night I sit in front of my paper staring at my pen 

Trying to think but nothing comes in the end 

Because I am a man I can’t show my hormones change

I am like a teenager crying about anything strange 

Remembering memories from the past like a stage

Trying, praying, and hiding in no mans land without a name 

Smiling but irritated from the mist escaping from the rest

Hiding behind lost memories and trying not to exist

Feeling alone and I wonder if I will ever be missed 

Talking to girls but they always talk to me less

Why do I feel empty, sad, and lifeless?

Why do I feel like I am better like this? 

Why do I feel like people are mindless?

Why cant there be an understanding silence

Stuck in the past feeling tasteless

Am I just feeling angry and faithless? 

Or am I feeling lonely and fait less? 

Why am I up and exited about my mood shifts

So many questions with no answers 

So many issues but nothing matters 

So many chatters and everything is scattered

So many love but all of them are tampered with   

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